Laine the Hurricane - famous quotes from this month

(warning - this post contains excessive use of potty words. I didn't realize this until I had written the post but feel now that I must give you fair warning.)

So we have had a couple of great lines come out of the Hurricane's mouth lately. From the minute she could talk she has said the funniest things. Here are a few highlights from our 5 year old.

Laine has a hard time understanding "personal time" and often likes company while going to the bathroom. She comes up with all king of excuses to get us in the room. (DAD, come fold the toilet paper for me. DAD, There is a giant spider in the bathtub! DAD, my poop turned florescent blue from that wierd ice cream I ate. Come see! [this really did happen], DAD, Will you come in and make sure I don't fall in the toilet again?)

The other day she was taking care of business and she asked me to come into the bathroom. As I came around the corner where she could see me she started glaring at me and said, "DAD!"

"What?" I said.

At this point she pointed her head down, but then looked up at me with her eyes in a very judgmental way.....

"Dad, why are you wearing that beautiful shirt?"

I was stumped. She has an amazing (as well as interesting) fashion sense. To me it was a plain old black button up shirt that I don't wear very often. To her it was a silk shirt and she could tell I had not purchased it at a concert which is where most of my other shirts come from.

Laine has also been having a hard time sleeping lately. The simple hour change from daylight savings is still messing with her and it has led to some ridiculously early mornings. Because of this we have been trying to get her to nap on the weekends. Last weekend she was exhausted and she agreed that a nap was a good idea. We offered some sort of sugar laced something to reward her after she woke up. At this she informed us that although she agreed to take a nap she did not intend to actually sleep.

"Dad, I'm not going to take a nap. I'm just going to TRY to take a nap."

"Is is possible you will fall asleep if you try?"

"No dad (exasperated sigh here) I'm just going to try to sleep. I'm NOT going to SLEEP. I DON'T have to and YOU can't make me! I'm just going to try."

Last night I set myself up again. First, I need to give some background: we blame all the bad things that happen in our house on a naughty little Swedish forest troll that Laine has told us is named Truck. Truck the Tomten (Tomten is Swedish for troll - Santa, for example, is Jul Tomten or the Christmas Troll.)

So anyway, the kids were desperate to help Marie stir the meatloaf she was making last night. She wouldn't let them but everytime she turned her back they tried anyway and raw meat would go flying. Nasty. After dinner was over I noticed a lump-o-something on the floor. Honestly it looked a little like a TERD. Gross. Given my lack of ability to be quiet sometimes, I asked Marie is someone had pooped on the floor or if we had just had some meat go missing. She was not amused at all, but Laine the Hurricane was. By this time I was already working on cleaning it up but she was shouting - LET ME SEE, LET ME SEE! I knew I was in trouble, and in trying to make it better I said maybe it was just tomten poop. (what was I thinking?) She gave her vote that someone had definitely pooped on the floor and that it was probably Truck. So now I realized I was in even MORE trouble, and I told her it must be meat and not poop, and I was pretty sure that tomten poop looked a lot different, a lot more colorful. (again, what was I thinking?)

"Really, Dad? Will you show me?"

"What do you mean will I show you? How am I going to do that?"

"Dad - lets go look it up on the internet!"

Busted. There was no way I was going to do a google image search for troll poop.