the day's laughs

Lainey, upon receiving a paper-cut that bled and bled (through many tears, of course, but only after she spied the blood): "I have no idea what an alligator bite feels like, but I think this feels like I got bit by an alligator!"

Then later that same day, we were talking about gratitude, and trying to help our kids realize why maybe they should have some. (tough sell.) We've got the "please bless" part down, but we're pretty slim on what we're thankful for. Jim, trying to emphasize that we pray largely to express gratitude said, "Guess what. When we bless the food, Heavenly Father doesn't actually change the food. If it's bad food, he doesn't make it good." I didn't even think Rom was listening, but at that he sat straight up, looking worried. "BAD NEWS! It's not blessed!"

also, lately he's been so into asking what things are made of, and today we finally hit the "what's pee made of" question. luckily, Laine was on hand to answer quickly: "water!" Romney didn't believe her, and cascaded into all kinds of other questions regarding bodily functions, which I won't include. I think it's been on his mind lately since prior to the big snow (and BEFORE our camping trip where such behavior would have been encouraged...) we caught him outside multiple times trying to do his business on the lawn. what is it with boys?

at least he finally got to satisfy the urge without getting in trouble for peeing in our front yard - and what a place to do it!

Wheels, Wierdos, and Wind

Blog part one: I have found the solution to my rental car. (you know - the car Laine calls our "toy" car.) The first step is: Pretend the car is a really cool mini cooper with a racing stripe. Step 2: pretend you are being chased because you just made a really big heist from a guy who had double crossed you and now you are getting really fast. Put another way - drive really fast. Step 3: hope and pray that the tires can hold out because as my friend had previously suggested - they are smaller than my bike tires. A LOT smaller.

Blog part two: Okay, I don't want to make light and I don't want to disrespect by putting this here in the middle....but my southern belle, Georgia peach, funny (and by funny I mean kind of racist) old Grandma passed away this week. It was 10 months and 1 day since Papa passed away and had the red neck funeral of all time. Grandma was not quite as red neck as papa so we scaled back a little. My uncle made a great casket like he did for papa but this time he left the plumbing pipes off and even polished it. He also gave a great talk at the funeral even though he swore a few times and made the Bishop squirm. Grandma was buried in Fremont next to Papa but on the drive down to Fremont she always wanted to stop at Wendy's in Nephi for a burger and a Dr. Pepper. Uncle Alan didn't want to disappoint her (since he was the favorite and all) so he stopped and got her the usual as they drove through town. My family is so weird.


You can see that the flowers kept blowing over because it was so windy. That takes me to part three...

Blog part three: KITES. I love flying kites and I'm very glad to see my kids catching the bug. Rom and Laine BEGGED to get out and fly this weekend and the conditions were perfect! I think Rom and I both kept hoping the kite would lift him off the ground and he would fly away for a little bit but it never worked. Maybe that is just what I always hope will happen to me. I was worried that Romney would let go of the kite and I decided to accept early on that it would be okay if that happened. As it worked out - Kingfish was the only one that let go of his kite so I had to chase it down. Luckily a large cottonwood tree stopped it and even more luckily I was able to fly it out of the tree.

Do you know what little kid excited to go camping looks like? It looks like this.
Should be a fun weekend....as long as we don't freeze to death. He really wanted to be sure he had enough footie jammies. My favorite part of this picture is the stocking hat pulled over the top of his sun hat.

potty talk

Well, there we were, Romney and I, hanging out in the bathroom. It was long after I'd actually put him to bed, but he has discovered that I will almost invariably let him out of bed if he tells me he needs to go to the bathroom, and some nights he works it! oh, does this boy work it. we'd been sitting there for a while, and since my "are you done yet" attempts were failing at wrapping things up, I tried something new:

M: Romney, I've noticed that you've been pretty tired lately, and that tells me that you haven't been getting enough sleep lately. So it's time to finish up and get back to bed.

(long pause)

R: And if I don't get enough sleep then my energy goes out my mouth.

M: Really?

R: I think so. What happens if my energy is not in my tummy anymore?

in my head: Your energy is in your tummy? this rings of chinese philsophy...who've you been talking to lately?

M: Hmmm. I'm not sure. What do you think?

R: Well, I think I get sick. And then I throw up in the night. And then you have to wash my jammies.

good to know. I love this boy. I just wish he would SLEEP! he's so cute when he sleeps, isn't he? especially when he refuses to take off his "dress-ups" which is really his very old and small fleecy suit from when he was much much smaller. see how it only comes to his knees?

I want a cookie as big as my head

Happy St. Patrick's Day yesterday. I still have no idea why this is any type of holiday at all but for whatever reason St. Patrick's Day came to our home. It began in the morning when my kids started pinching each other until everyone was crying. Seriously? This hasn't happened to me since I was 10 but you can bet your bottom dollar that I put on some green.

Laine's favorite part of the day was that while on a nature walk in her kindergarten class her classroom was ransacked by leprechauns. True story. At first Laine said she thought it might have been their reading buddies from an older grade but then she realized that they would never do that....plus the leprechauns left foot prints all over the place. Obviously this was the real deal.

For dinner we had four leaf clover pancakes! (yeah! Second night in a row having pancakes for dinner!)

And then the big surprise......a giant St. Patrick's Day cookie. (because the bakery was out of everything else. This was the last green thing in the store.) The good news is that the giant cookie fit in perfectly because of some recent music acquisition. Papa, who understands my music obsession, no wait - actually he doesn't understand. He is familiar with and tolerates my music obsession. Anyway, Papa recently gave us some new CDs from a group called Lunch Money. They are awesome. So far our favorite songs are "It only takes one night to make a balloon your friend" and "I want a cookie as big as my head."
Here are a couple of my favorite lines...

By the way, my cookie policy is chocolate chip only. Oatmeal and raisins sounds like cereal. I already had breakfast - don't I look healthy?

and another

By the way, my cookie policy is I'm a chocolate chip girl! Pecans and Walnuts - is winter coming? Are you trying to tell me I look like a squirrel?

Thanks Papa!

For Papa - here are the kids dancing to the song (and occasionally getting distracted by the cookie)......

Oh what a week

Sunday night (3/8/09) - Lainey is unusually tired and lethargic.
Monday Morning -Laine too tired to walk from her bed to the kitchen table and says she feels "icky." She is running a fever but already has the day off of school. Marie has the day off to spend with the kids but instead spends all day watching cartoons on the Qubo channel. Jim takes Marie swimming for the evening because they need to work out to get buff.
Monday night - almost Tuesday - Laine begins to hurl. This is repeated throughout the night until her mattress is moved into her parents room. Jim is grateful he does not sleep on the side of the bed that is closer to Laine.
Tuesday. Laine drinking very small sips every 20 minutes or so. No food but feeling a little better. Late afternoon Jim decides it has been so long since Laine threw up that she should eat some more. He gives her a banana. She throws up on him in retribution. Her biggest concern is that she won't get to go out to lunch with Kingfish on Friday.
Wednesday. Lainey dehydrated. She hasn't gone to the bathroom in about 24 hours as far as we can remember. Very dry mouth. Hasn't had anything to drink since dad tried to make her eat. We call the doctor to find out if we need to take her in for an IV. I'm not sure she understood the phone call but while on the phone with the nurse she goes to the bathroom.
(now is when things get really good!) Wed afternoon Marie babysits a few neighborhood kids while also trying to prepare for hosting the neighborhood book club that night. (Lainey quarantined in basement watching more Qubo channel.) Jim fails to get off work early to help Marie but when finally on his way home is REAR ENDED by a big bad suburban and the back of the outback is crushed. The bumper ended up stuck under his car. Jim is delayed about 2 hours and Marie is very understanding.
Thursday. no new drama - only hard to fit everything in. Lainey changes out of the same pajamas she has been wearing since Sunday. Jim picks up a rental car. It looks like this but is white and not so colorful. A friend mentions that he thinks his road bike tires are bigger then the tires on this car. Marie has to work, we decide there is a decent chance the car is totaled and needs to be cleaned, Jim needs to go to chiropractor for minor whiplash and they can't fit in until 6:15 while Marie is at work, and Jim needs to go to a church meeting at 7:0o and I have no idea what we would do without wonderful wonderful wonderful grandma who comes to the rescue.
Friday. Four light bulbs in the house burn out and at 7:30 in the morning there is a strange noise and smell coming from the furnace as its motor burns up. 1:00 - Laine feels well enough to go to lunch with Kingfish. 4:30 - Marie's fingers are cold because there is no heat and she is a girl. 5:00 Papa comes to the rescue to help fix the motor and heat is again restored to house.
Saturday. Sledding! everyone feels good enough for little sled in Neff's canyon. We hike up with the Curtis family and have a great time sledding down. There are a few challenges however. The normal half-pipe shape of the trail has melted making it easier to go off of the edges. The sledding is fun but most of the memories focus around three things. 1. Jim crashes with Lainey. Crash rating is moderate. 2. Jim crashes going at high speed with Romney. Jim is grateful Rom is wearing a helmet. Everyone is okay. Crash rating is moderate to severe. 3. Everyone is done with their second run but Jim and Rom. Here they come down the mountain at a very high velocity. There they go off of a small cliff. Jim goes down the embankment. Romney is held at the top by a tree. Jim is afraid Romney is paralyzed. Marie is heard by several people uuttering the words "I'm going to kill him." She later confirms she was talking about Jim. Turns out Romney is scared and upset but just fine. He is now known in our family as Romney Rubber Bones. Marie realizes how bad Jim feels and decides not to kill him and instead forgives him. She does however choose not to forgive him for posting this picture of her.
Next we have lunch (delicious huevos rancheros with Kingfish) and then we go swimming because we are still trying to get buff.
Marie then stays out until 11:00 PM with neighborhood friends even though she hasn't written her talk for church the next day. This used to make Jim frustrated but now he realizes that she can't work any other way. Jim has no idea when Marie finally comes to bed.
Sunday. 12:30 Lainey, Marie, and Jim all give talks in Sacrament meeting. 7:30 - Romney has a fever and Jim officially loses his lunch. Strawberry maalox is SO gross. Another rough night ahead.......
Monday morning. Jim passes the guy who rear ended him in the hall at work and they have an awkward exchange. Turns out he works maintenance in the building where Jim works.

Wow. Some weeks you are just really glad when they are over.

Recession stragies, or How I'm going to make a million

As I mentioned in a previous post about our trip to Bryce the kids spent a lot of time taking pictures with their new camera. Well, you know those kids you see on the news from time to time that are art prodigies or music prodigies or whatever? I've decided my kids should be one of those. I mean seriously - have you seen any abstract art lately? Surely my kids are at least this good:










THIS IS FAMOUS ART. (Chriss Pagani) I figure if someone can sell this, then I'm going to start selling my kids' pictures. I mean, the pictures are really good because my kids are the smartest kids I've ever met. They take such interesting pictures from unique angles that really make you think. In fact, I've had the opportunity to think more often than I have ever thought before thanks to their thought provoking images of thinking.
I'd like to share them with you know, but consider yourself warned. You will be forever changed by these images. That finger painting kid that does those crazy cool pictures doesn't have anything on my kidos.








































I KNOW. WOW. I mean wow. Romney actually had to take three pictures of that wooden fence to get just the right lighting. At first I thought it was because he wasn't tall enough to see over it but once I saw the pictures on the computer I realized it was all about the light. I wish he didn't talk so much like Beaker from the Muppets so I could ask him more about other artists that have influenced him or how hefeels when he holds a camera. I feel so lucky to have such talented children and such a clear strategy for surviving the recession.

Now - one more point that needs to be made. In the comments of my last blog I caught a lot of flack for saying that Rom was laughing at the end. To be fair, the video stopped when it did because I also thought he was crying. However, I quickly restarted the recording when I realized he was fine and this is what it looked like.....

fun things to do when mom is not home

so we like to have fun around here. One of the problems however is that Marie seems to think some things are not safe. I like to refer to these things as fun. You know - stuff like playing on the roof or seeing what will happen while the out-of-control bike goes down the steep path with a laughing child on it. I mean seriously, these are the good times and I say that we should let the good times roll. When I was a kid one of my favorite things to do in the bath was count how many bruises and scars I had. I LOVED this and thought it was so awesome when I had a lot. How could something be fun if it didn't involve the possibility of bruising or scars?

(Tangent: I also was excited anytime I was dirty enough that it left a ring around the tub. The other thing I really liked was getting my arms so soapy that it looked like I was wearing lady's gloves that went above my elbow. I distinctly remember my mom getting really frustrated with me that I refused to wash or do anything else until I had my soap gloves on.)

My kids, however, like boxes. They are much more creative than I am. Things that involve words like art, style, or new ideas - those are not words that involve me. But anyway, back to the boxes. Several months ago my dad found great joy in putting my kids in this giant computer box and then rolling the box around the house. Turns out that the kids found great joy in this also and begged to bring the box home. For another month or so it basically got drawn on every day and took up most of our family room. Every night before bed the kids would ask for a roll in the box.

Romney discovered a great use last week for another smaller box. He ended up taking the box apart and using it as a sled to do down the stairs. For your viewing enjoyment....




That is not crying at the end. He laughed and ran up the stairs asking if he could do it again.